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A Shared Space

September 14, 2015 Rachel Nevergall
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When sharing the home tour last week, I hinted at the kids new shared space. I wanted to give their room its own post as I have a few tips we've learned in this process that might be helpful to others who are considering a similar move.

They say a home is where your heart is. This is often used to mean where those who you love are gathered together, that is what you call home. I believe this to be true. But also to me, a home should reflect your heart. The things you love, your personality, what brings you peace and happiness, these are the things of your heart. I don't mean this to sound materialistic. I'm not saying filling your home with everything you ever wanted will make you happy. But I do believe a space should feel familiar, should feel like you. And I believe this is equally important for children. A child should feel welcome in the home. They should understand boundaries, but they should also feel comfortable, feel like they have their own space to be creative and be proud of. 

Setting up a nursery for Caroline was one of those right of passage for every new parent. I chose a vision, crafted the space, kept it neutral enough for whatever little baby that came home but also fun and cheerful to make me happy to spend so many waking (and half waking) hours in. It certainly was comfy enough to please a new baby, but let's be honest, it was not designed for her personality, it was for me. So as we neared closer and closer to her brother's arrival last winter, this time around I found myself putting more effort into creating a new space for her than I did for her little brother. #secondbabyproblems

But I knew my "client" so much better this time around! I was excited to bring in some of the cheerful color from her nursery tied into new favorite elements that showed her personality. Like artwork with quotes of songs from her favorite movie "Sound of Music," words we sing to her each night. Or phrases from a favorite story book. A little bit girly with a colorful flair, that's what I wanted my daughter's space to exude.  (P.S. Once upon a time I took copious photographs of this space. I was quite proud and wanted to share it. They have disappeared. I am left with this one image. And memories. SIgh.)

Once we had her space set up, I couldn't resist adding a little something to her new brother's room. Since we would be bringing home our first Austin, Texas baby, I picked some funky music related elements to reflect that "Keep Austin Weird" vibe. (Also seen in this room is the mobile his sister helped me design. More about that later this week!) He may turn out to be a preppy sports kid as he grows, and that's fine. But until he starts to share his personality like his big sister, I'm just going to have fun with what I want. 

So when we moved ourselves into a two bedroom home, not only did I have to figure out the logistics of a baby toddler share space, I also had to merge their personalities into one cohesive space.  Here are some strategies that helped me tackle this:

  • The furniture we have is all pretty neutral, mostly all white. This allows for a blank canvas to add personality and pops of color with fabric, art and toys. Also each piece complements one another instead of feeling mismatched.
  • Use a few similar colors throughout. We did this with red (my signature color) and aqua and then more heavy on the white and black. I have more visions of white and black incorporated in this space, but as I have mentioned countless times before, I'm not waiting until its perfect to reveal.
  • Gallery walls, while SO in (or are they out now? I'm not always at the head of the trends), they are also a fun an easy way to incorporate each child's individual personality. I love the letters over their beds and the different colored framed prints. And I didn't buy a single print. Just a little Word art and printer action.  Free art is the best kind for a kids room. 
  • Decorate with toys. This is not necessarily a shared space suggestion, just my all time favorite use of kid decor. Kid toys, when not plastic and commercialized, can be such works of art. Colorful, classic, whimsy, all elements I think are key to a child's space. And what's great about them is they are neutral for either girl or boy and for any age. Having big shelving units like that also allows for changing out the toys inside as the kids grow up and have new interests. I imagine some cool lego creation or paper mache getting gallery time on those white shelves one day.
  • Simplify clothes storage. I have some of their clothes all in the same bins together like pajamas, socks/hats/shoes, and hanging clothes. There is no need to separate when their laundry all goes together and they are basically getting dressed at the same time. 

These tips and tricks only touch on ways we have approached a shared space from a decor and organization standpoint. There is so much more to say on how we have tackled sleep and other routines. But that is probably another post for another day.

Overall, I am so thrilled by our decision to have the kids share a room. It was fun to discover how to take two different rooms and personalities and blend together in one space. I feel we have been able to create a space that is both together and individualized. What a great message to send to our kids: You are both unique and amazing creations but we are all in this together!

← That kind of daySimple Week Changing Roast Chicken →
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Hi there! I'm Rachel.

I believe each morning is a fresh start and I believe hot coffee is step one. 

It is here that I celebrate each day as an opportunity to seek the creative inside both our children and ourselves so that we can all       raise and shine. 

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If I showed you the sweet picture of the hairstyle I gave her for crazy hair meets Valentine’s day, would you also believe me that I don’t remember when she last bathed?

If I shared the fun crafty Valentine we made for his class would you also believe me that my house looks like a fraternity house at the end of a raging party?

If I show the darling babe all snuggled up under my chin that makes my heart burst with unspeakable joy, would you also believe me when I say parenting three is the hardest thing I have yet done in my parenting life?

Sometimes in these little squares, I have so much fear that I might post something that makes someone’s heart shrink a little bit with guilt or inadequacy. I worry you will think I am something you are not and that will make you feel smaller than you deserve to be, when in fact I struggle too. So much.

But then, if I keep quiet, not only am I not allowing myself to show you exactly who I am, how I like to love on my people, and what just makes me happy, I am thus not leaving space for you to do so as well.

If these things brings you joy, too, hurray. If something else does, I celebrate you. And if you aren’t in a space of joy, I’m sitting her with you too. And sending you ❤️. Never alone.

This has been my struggle for years. I saw self care as (by my)self care. And it seems it only got harder and harder to care for myself as I fought to be alone.

And so I’m trying something new. I’m learning to find the peace I need in my day right along side them.

So I move WITH them in tow. I read to THEM, as long as it something of MY choosing. I pick up a paint brush too when they paint.

And hopefully all this togetherness is teaching them what matters to me and my day too.

Shared on the blog today how I practice my *What Feels Right* list from yesterday when I can’t be alone.

What’s your go to care strategy when your little ones tag along? I test as a Highly Sensitive Person. 🙋🏻‍♀️Anyone else?

I like to think of myself as a noticer. From the way the snow sounds when it hits the ground to his sweet sigh as he nestles into sleep in my arms. I feel it all. And I mean ALL.

This can be a beautiful way to look at life, but it can also be EXHAUSTING.

But I decided to start using this skill for the better. I started to pay close attention to my day to notice patterns of when I feel off and when I feel right.

My list is not revolutionary. It is nothing you don’t already know to be true. But sometimes we need to really acknowledge the simple ways we can manage our days to feel joy, to feel peace, to just feel right.

Sharing my list of What Feels Right on the blog today to maybe inspire you to pay attention to your own list.✨Now your turn...What Feels Right to you? Yes his sweatshirt is on backwards. Yes this happens on the regular. It’s become his signature look. But the important thing is he got himself dressed and no one had to use their angry voice!

I am quite excited to introduce a new series on the blog today called ☀️Raise your Mom Game☀️ It’s a way to share the great ideas learned from regular, cool, smart moms (and dads) like us. I believe parents are super heroes with powers to battle the everyday parenting struggles. And they are willing and happy to share these with fellow superhero parents so we can all win.

It’s not about the quick fix, because none of us are broken. We just sometimes need a fresh perspective to tackle familiar challenges in parenting, another play in the playbook, tool in the toolbox, option in the portfolio. Am I giving you enough metaphors here?

Today, I go first with my big frustration in getting kids dressed. I feature two great ideas for both of my kids from fellow parents @kelseywilliams and @ladderica. And I filmed one in the stories so go check it out. After you read the post, of course 😉. And remember, this is a village. So please share with me how you are Raising your Mom Game. And what helps you Shine.☀️ “...I make so many beginnings there never will be an end.” Louisa May Alcott

She opened up 6 crisp white books, completely blank, exactly as she asked them to be, for writing down her own stories. Obviously I was thrilled to grant this Christmas wish. It wasn’t 5 minutes later that I turned around to find her set up at the dining room table, pen in hand, words flowing to the book. “Now you realize these are special, right. You can’t throw them away and start over if it isn’t just as you want it to be.” “I know.” Barely glancing up. Back to work.  Her confidence and self assurance just taunting me.

She has no trouble diving in. She doesn’t worry about where the ending is taking her. She doesn’t hesitate and doubt herself along the way.

She just BEGINS.

It is with this same resolve that I choose to take with me throughout this new year. To not hesitate with my step one. And to not be afraid to be new at something.

Last year I explored being enough. And with that I determined, there is also enough time, space, energy to take more step ones.

To BEGIN.

Introducing my 2019 word of the year ✨BEGIN✨ on the blog today.

A month in and I already love where this word is taking me. My skin is still soft from the humidity of Texas, and my heart, and stomach, are full in the way only a winter escape can bring. But it feels right to be home. It feels right to see snow softly falling in February. And to be all piled up together as a family again. ❤️❤️❤️ You know that welcoming feeling you get when you go home to mom and dads?

They make you your favorite meals. You take comfort in the familiar space. You just feel so warm and loved and cared for.

We got that welcomed feeling when we made it back to our old home in Austin town this weekend.

We had all our favorite meals, barbecue, tacos, queso, more tacos. Memories flooded us around every corner, date nights, family adventures, milestones crossed. And most importantly, we got to feel loved by “family,” or rather the friends that became family when you needed it most.

This is how it should be when you make a place a home, no matter how short the time was in your life. It should make itself a little home in your heart and always open its arms wide to you when you come back.

So glad we will always have Austin.

And tacos. 🌮 Confession time... I sometimes daydream about being a mom of just one baby.

Not that I don’t love each and every one of my kids more than my heart can even find words for, because obvi I don’t even need to clarify that for you.

It’s just that this multiple and different needs thing all at once is very very hard on my brain capacity. And also my heart.

I sometimes dream of a world where I get to have each of my babies one day at a time. And then we all come together for one big epic fun filled Sunday as a family of five. Wouldn’t that be fun??!! But then I see the oldest reading a book to the middle. Or the middle tickled with himself at how he can make the baby giggle. Or there’s the epic family snuggle sessions in the king size bed before someone, all of them, demand breakfast. And then I remember we are right where we need to be and who we need to be with.

But also sometimes it’s super fun to just be with one. We snuck away together with our baby to a place that still has a piece of our heart, Texas. And while I miss the other two, it feels like a gift to enjoy that stage where it’s just you and me and a baby makes three. I can hardly remember him that tiny, but I’ll never forget when she started reading to them. 📚 Reading creates strong memories, doesn’t it. “For some it’s a physical place in which I remember reading. The beach, the hammock, the couch under a blanket. For others, it’s a place in time. A difficult pregnancy. A foggy newborn stage. A challenging stage of parenting. And for some, it’s a moment that I realize is one of a momentous milestone. Like seeing her read a book for the first time. Or reading our first chapter book series together.” Eighteen Memorable Book Moments in 2018 on the blog today. The answer to snow-mo and other FOMO related cases (see last post if you are confused 😊) ?? Be a noticer.

As promised, I shared about my process of creating a Reverse Bucket List on the blog today.

You don’t need a fancy planner, a complicated system, or even a lot of time. You just need a photo storage system of your choice, a few questions I list in the post, and a couple of minutes to do some thinking.

It’s my own way of doing goals and reflection. But I would love to see what you learn too. So I’m creating a hashtag!! Tell me how it works for you with #raiseandshineandnotice 🥳
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away”
— Pablo Picasso
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